Heaven's Roar - Picture of Male Lion
Heaven's Roar - Picture of female lion

Definitions of Radical

Dictionary - Basic, Innate, Fundamental
Colloquial - Revolutionary, On the Edge
Personal - Raw revolutionary life with
The Lion of Judah - Jesus Christ

Heaven's Roar. Road of a radical.

Emerging Worship: The Bride and Bridegroom

To worship God is to become so intoxicated by and entwined with Him that we can’t help but live as a true disciple, to be caught up into the embrace of the 3rd heaven as Paul was, and to drench Him in the oil of our worship and love like the prostitute did. Worshippers live in His joy, beauty, and wonder and bring the presence of God which heals hearts and confuses the enemy. It’s not about singing worship songs – it’s about panting for Him like David did, living as a Royal Priest, and being merged with the Spirit of The Beloved in Jn. 17 union.





“And I looked and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war. His eyes are a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems; and He has a name written on Him which no one knows except Himself. He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies which are in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, were following Him on white horses. From His mouth comes a sharp sword, so that with it He may strike down the nations, and He will rule them with a rod of iron; and He treads the wine press of the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty. And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.” Rev. 19:11-16.

Us: “Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth, for your love is better than wine. Draw me after you and let us run together. The King has brought me into His chambers… When I found the one my soul loves, I held Him and would not let Him go. ... He is altogether lovely.”
God: “You are as beautiful as Tirzah my darling, as lovely as Jerusalem, as awesome as an army with banners. Turn your eyes away from me, for they have overwhelmed me … my dove, my perfect one, is unique.… How beautiful are your feet in sandals O prince’s daughter! The curve of your hips are like jewels, the work of the hands of an artist … the flowing locks of your head are like purple threads. The King is captivated by your tresses. …”
Us: “I am my Beloved’s and His desire is for me.” Song of Songs extracts ch 1-7.


Worship is a heavenly kiss as we come close to the author of Love.

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Our God is utterly beautiful, utterly dangerous, and utterly tender. It’s impossible to get closer to anyone than to God. He holds nothing of Himself back from us. The more we want of Him the more we can have – at a price – but He’s ours. As our Maker we fit Him and He us like a hand in a glove. It’s been said that inside every person is a God-shaped hole. I’ve come to know that inside God is also a me-shaped hole and a you-shaped hole. We know intellectually that He loves us because He died for us. But the reality is that He longs for us with the heart of a Lover. He yearns for a transparent and naked heart relationship with His own – Heb. 4:13 speaks of the nakedness we have before Him – and He longs that we should have that with each other too. Is. 58:7 says that we must not hide ourselves from our own flesh. Paul said in Eph. 5:29 that no one hates their own flesh but nurtures it. Jesus explained it to me this way in September 2008; He said “The blood does not hide itself from the lungs.” We are His Body and must grow to maturity, yet the Church still hasn’t seen the connections we need to build in order to become His true Body – the very people He wants to become spiritually naked with each other. In Rick Joyner’s vision of heaven, portrayed in the book ‘The Final Quest’ he saw that people in heaven can see each other’s thoughts. Nothing is hidden. God said in Lk. 8:17 that every secret would be revealed. If we pray for His Kingdom to come, part of that is to be naked in our own honesty, and in as much of His Truth as we have revealed to us, walking in close union with Jesus who desires us passionately. In Jn. 14:21 He tells us that when we follow His Way He will love us and reveal Himself to us.

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Over the last few years (according to worship leader legend Chris Tomlin, it began in 2003 at a Matt Redman concert) God has been revealing Himself as Bridegroom like never before and pouring Himself into His worshippers. Worshippers are God’s forerunners – in Jericho God sent the worshippers/priests out ahead of the army to ensure God’s presence led the battle. In the heavenly realms this is what’s happening at the moment. The final battle is coming and God is raising His worshippers to new heights. In the great battle of Jericho, its impregnable walls came down through God’s presence alone.

The lyrics in the songs of the last few years have grown rich and show unfathomable love for Him. Men sing of being in love with Jesus and longing for His touch and beauty. That richness has been my own experience so when I hear it in song I know it’s more than pretty words – it shows that others are having the same experiences and that Jesus is restoring true worship to His Church. I believe God has created and chosen vessels of worship and got them ready through refining fires, and these are people who are now becoming the Royal Priesthood. They are the future of His Church – a whole different shape – a Church unrecognizable from the current man-made structures and hierarchies. They have been called ‘the Davids’ and prophets have said that God has had these worship warriors hidden in caves being refined and they are now emerging.

Personal Worship – Spirit & Truth: In 2006 I spent at least 8 months being called into a beautiful place with God every night. He descended on me and began to, what I called, kidnap me. I’d be going about my business, feel His glow, and get caught up into a place with Him, surrounded by love and wonder. Next thing it would be 2 hours later. Once it lasted for 2 days, once for 8 hours, twice for 5 hours, but mostly it was an hour or 2 – or even 10-30 minutes. I’d find myself writing about something He’d shown me and being ‘kidnapped’ between one word and the next – or even in the middle of a word, between one letter and the next. Or I’d be half way through making a coffee and come back to myself 2 hours later. The feeling was one of total merging – spirit with Spirit. So I went from calling it kidnapping, to ‘merging’ or ‘mingling’. I was aware my spirit and His were mixing together – swirling around and through each other – it was the most beautiful sensation imaginable and I came to know both the intensity and freedom of His love. Finally I realized what it was I being called into, and I gave it its real name – worship. I was being called into a place of worship I’d never known before. I’d known His anointing, strong or soft, to descend on and around me – but I’d not felt Him mingling into my spirit before and mine into His. He showed me that this is what will happen more intensely and permanently at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb; in marriage the 2 become 1 flesh, and with Jesus we’ll become 1 Spirit, just as the Trinity is One. This is what He prayed for in John 17. Later I found out that in Acts 10 when Peter goes into a trance, the word “trance” is also translated “ecstasy” and I knew it was what God had done to me. They were trance-like ‘kidnappings’ while He merged with me – and they were certainly ecstasy. Words can’t describe the Divine Delight. As with all things in God – worshipping Him brings the greatest pleasure to both us and Him. Worship is a heavenly kiss as we come close to the author of Love. During times of worship I’ve been given sovereign healings and other significant miracles, because where He is so is His glory. When we’re close to Him, we’re close to all that He is – His intense love for us, His truth, fruits, gifts, power. There’s no other way to live as a disciple, outwork the miraculous, or fulfill our destinies than by walking closely with our Beloved. No church programme or bible college will do it – only Jesus builds His Bride. The Word is a PERSON!

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Song of Songs: Mike Bickle, founder of Kansas International House of Prayer (IHOP), taught that in Jewish tradition Proverbs equates to the Outer Court, Ecclesiastes to the Inner Court, and the Song of Solomon (also known as Song of Songs) to the Holy of Holies. As one who lives in Songs, an address that several prophets around me have picked up on, I believe that the place of intimacy is indeed the place of Shekinah glory. He made us to love us and died to restore us to His love. His innermost sanctum must be His deepest heart and seeing Shekinah as mere power is blind to His very nature – “God is Love”.

Jews say that Songs is about God and Israel – the Church says it’s about Jesus and the Church. Both are right; the book is a beautiful and passionate picture of how God sees His people, His Bride. It clearly shows what we go through as we learn about Him, learn to follow Him, die to ourselves, go through His trials and testings, and emerge saying, as the Shulamite does, ”I held Him and would not let Him go” and “I am my Beloved’s and His desire is for me” (Songs 3:4, 7:10). We come to truly know how much Jesus desires us. He’s not named as the Bridegroom for nothing! (Mt. 9:15.)

In his book ‘Song of Songs’, author Watchman Nee explores the descriptions of the Beloved in the text such as, “His hands are rods of gold set with beryl” and points out that rod = authority; gold = Spirit; and beryl is the stone of form and establishment. This is a picture of the hands of the Creator – hands with the Spiritual Authority to build, set, and establish form. During His times of ‘kidnapping’ me, I often saw Him. Apart from seeing a Jewish man, or occasionally a man wreathed in flame with white hair, gold feet, and eyes of fire, I more often saw Him as pale and veined with blue – like alabaster and sapphire marble. His presence was so magnificent I didn’t question the appearance – then I came across that exact description of Him in Songs 5:14. He says He’ll reveal Himself to His own!

David said in Ps. 42:1, “As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul pants for you O God”. Many have experienced and a few are now teaching that Jesus is revealing Himself as Bridegroom and pouring out a deeper revelation of His love than ever before. He’s causing people to cleave to His love and is creating pure and total devotion between Himself and His Bride. As with all true love this must come from a besotted heart and cannot come from an intellectual basis. This current era is the birth of our deepest union with our Bridegroom. In the words of Mark Galli, author of ‘Jesus Mean and Wild’, “Jesus is immensely attractive”! As for me, He is my magnet. Derek Prince called Him ruthless, and Paul said “Behold the goodness and severity of God” (Rom. 11:22). When Jesus gave a hard word and many of His disciples left, He asked the 12 if they would also leave and Peter replied “Where else would we go Lord, you alone have the words of life” (Jn. 6:67,68). His magnetic attraction keeps us panting for Him regardless of severe lessons and fiery trials. His refiner’s fire is specifically to bring us closer to Himself and once out of the kiln we say, like the Shulamite in Songs, “My Beloved is more beautiful than ten thousand” and He says “Your gaze has overwhelmed me.”

Knowing Him – Yada / Ginosko: In a Salvation Army church I learned from Rod Clarey, (a regional overseer, wonderful teacher, worshipper, and true shepherd) something God had shown me but hearing it preached was a wonderful confirmation. The sermon was about the Hebrew word ‘yada’ – the Greek equivalent word is ‘ginosko’. It’s the deepest intimacy possible with another and Paul uses the word about Jesus. Yada and ginosko mean “know/knew” and are used in Gen. 4:1 “and Adam knew Eve and went into her and she conceived and bore a son” and in Mt. 1:25 of Joseph not knowing Mary until after Jesus was born but keeping her a virgin. This is the deepest, most intimate, most loving way to ‘know’ someone else. Not only that – but Paul uses it in Phil. 3:10 when he says he wants to “know” Christ! But it goes even deeper. Jesus uses it when He says “depart from Me, I never ‘knew’ you” (Mt. 7:22,23). In that instance He’s talking to people who call Him “Lord Lord” and have prophesied and cast out devils in His Name. Acts 19:13-17 shows us that demons can’t be cast out by people without a connection to Jesus. Those He speaks to in Mt. 7 are people who know who He is (so do demons – and they tremble, Jas. 2:9) and who know His power. Yet for all that they have no intimacy with Him and so He rejects them! It’s serious stuff to know that Jesus demands complete intimacy with us, and intimacy with Him is deeper than the deepest love between humans. Further, 1 Jn. 3:1 says the Father has lavished love on us, therefore (because of that), the world does not (intimately) know us because it did not (intimately) know Him. The verse uses the word ‘ginosko’ and shows that those without that deep intimate lavishing love with God, remain outside Him. He calls them “the world” yet Mt. 7 shows there are plenty in the Church like that too who will be rejected unless they lose themselves in love with Him. Ross Smith, Wellington pastor, says in his book ‘Naked Illusion’ (p 44) “It’s not necessarily how we begin a race that counts, but how we finish it. Many, not just one or two here and there, but many are going to be turned away from the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus infuses our beings in a very tangible way. The picture of the relationship He wants with us is in the Song of Songs – the textual parallel to the Holy of Holies. This is the unity that enables us to lay down our lives for Him, either daily or in martyrdom. Without this deep love we are weaker in Him. Without His love we can’t even truly love each other. This is the union Jesus prays for in Jn. 17 – it’s the love we need to become His Glorious Bride. Paul said in Eph. 3:19 that knowing the love of Christ which passes our understanding will fill us with the fullness of God. Once again, the verse uses the word ‘ginosko’. Scripture tells us we must know Christ’s love as deeply as the most intimate relationship between married partners – and this is what will fill us with the fullness of God! (See also End Times Prophecies – Scroll 4 “Love” and Scroll 10 “Close to the Heart of God”.)

As always, when God pours out a revelation on the earth there’s a backlash. A scoffing attitude has invaded the Church via intellectual cynicism disguised as humour. Jude 18,19 says scoffers cause divisions (and they do) and are devoid of the Spirit! Is. 28:22 says God will put scoffers in chains. Certain groups are opposing this deep warm worship, belittling it, calling it the emotionalism of people who claim Jesus as their ‘boyfriend’ with one Wellington para-church leader declaring it a “pseudo-sexual emotional experience” in his 2006 booklet ‘The Solemn Assembly’. But what they fail to realize is that far beyond boyfriend, He is Husband! (See, Is. 54:5; Jer. 31:32 and especially Ez. 16:8.)

David “panted” for Him. Paul was desperate for His intimacy – even wanting His sufferings too. He desired the deepest spiritual union possible with Jesus. Paul also called himself Christ’s “doulos” (lit. love-slave). We must also desire Him as Paul and David did. We’re His Bride and He’ll rejoice over us (Is. 62:5, Ez. 16:4-14). God wrote Songs into His Book – and Jesus demands such a deep love with us that He says clearly He’ll reject those without it. That’s dangerous ground for the nay-saying scoffers to be standing on! I don’t pretend to know the depths of the mercy and judgement of Jesus – but I do know that those who focus on rules and ‘facts’ and haven’t fallen in love with Him in the deepest and most intimate way possible could hear those terrifying words “depart I never knew you”! I have friends who are constantly depressed and frustrated in their faith, but who insist they can’t follow Jesus just by loving Him. My answer is there is no other way. It’s the first commandment! We must love Him with our whole being. He didn’t say to obey Him with our whole being, (which is the Law), or to understand His Word with our whole being (which is the Tree of Knowledge and Adam’s path) – He said to love Him with our whole being! This is the Tree of Life. Jesus said “If you love me you will keep my commandments” (Jn. 14:15). People who don’t “know” His intimacy read this as meaning that we’d better obey Him or else, and if we don’t it’s proof we don’t love Him. Their focus is on works of the flesh. Jesus also said that if we walk in the Spirit we won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16) because the closer we are to God the less hold the flesh has on us. Likewise, when we love Him our obedience is automatic – we follow Him because we pant and thirst for Him.

One of the loveliest verses in scripture (and there are so many) is Phil. 1:21, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” As David knew the meaning of yada, Paul surely knew the meaning of ginosko!

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Throughout the ages God has always had people He’s called into a deep relationship with Himself. Enoch, Elijah, David, Paul, and the apostle John are ones who are familiar to us. The Church later named people who experience the depths of God as ‘Christian mystics’.

Books written by the mystics are still around today – many of them are centuries old. Mystics lived lives so devoted to God they could not breathe without Him – He was everything they loved. They also lived in His revelation because when you get that close to Him you learn the deep things about Him and His ways, including His moods. Yes – He has moods, just as Jesus, who was the fullness of God on earth, had moods. Scripture is full of the moods of God – He is jealous, angry, a Lover, He weeps, He laughs, He scoffs, He’s merciful, ferocious, and joyous – the list goes on. We have moods and we’re made in His image. Why should He not have them? But our pulpits never touch on this because they’ve focused on the theory of God over the Person of God. A tragedy. Knowing Him is as high above knowing about Him, as the heavens are above the earth. As scripture says: “Israel knew God’s acts but Moses knew His ways” (Ps. 103:7). Brennan Manning in ‘Ruthless Trust’ quotes Karl Rahner (p 65) “In the days ahead, you will be a mystic, ie one who has experienced God, or nothing at all”.

The beauty of the mystics is unmistakable. Surrounded by the love of God they walk, talk, and breathe His fragrance. They have much to teach the Church.

St Francis of Assisi, who lived in 12th Century Italy, is polled as the world’s favourite saint.

Note: To all those legalists and purists who say sainthood isn’t instilled by the Catholic church – I agree. But as for all God’s people being saints – no. There are plenty who live unsanctified lives (including those who will hear “depart I never knew you” Mt. 7:23). So credit where it’s due. These holy men and women of God deserve the name saint – they were fully discipled by Jesus and sought nothing but His will and ways in their lives.

Christians and non-Christians alike venerate Francis. Animal lovers venerate him. He was able to live in harmony to such an extent that in one famous story even a hungry wolf in a forest that had been eating villagers was tamed when Francis found it and spoke to it and made it promise to no longer kill if the villagers promised to feed it. That promise was never broken and the wolf was fed daily, turning up at people’s doors and eventually dying in the village of old age. (You can Google “The wolf of Gubbio”.) Francis often had birds sit on him – nothing feared him – to him everything was a brother or sister. He knew he was connected to all creation, which is what scripture says (Rom. 11:36). At his death the birds mourned and a crow sat on his grave, not eating, until it died. During his life he was seen speaking face to face with Jesus, and seen more than once so lost in worship that his body floated horizontally well off the ground. His soul-mate was St Clare who ran a nearby abbey. They’d known each other as children and he said he didn’t trust his heart around her so often wouldn’t meet with her. When his brothers told him this was unfair to her they met for a meal in the woods – with his brothers and her sisters looking on. Though they did not even touch, heavenly flames sprang up around them to such an extent and rose so high that the local villagers thought the forest was ablaze and would burn the village. They sounded the warning bell and went out to deal with the fire only to find it was Francis and Clare.

Francis preached the gospel everywhere and made the famous statement “preach the gospel by all means possible, if necessary use words.” He also wrote the beautiful hymn “Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace.” The inspiration came after he spontaneously danced to a minstrel playing the flute in a village square. It caused Francis to pray aloud that God would wrap His fingers around Francis and play Him like a song to God’s glory. From this the hymn was born. Francis was from a wealthy family and had been a womanizer and a soldier. God had called him for some time saying “rebuild my church for it is in ruins” and He spoke of His people who had lost their first love. When Francis finally responded to that call he had a showdown in the village square against his father who wanted him to follow into the family business and pursue wealth. Francis said his only family was God and in denying wealth and choosing “Lady Poverty” he stripped in the square and left the village naked, leaving with nothing – and with everything – God. He walked to the local monastery ruin and began to rebuild it stone by stone. Followers came and joined him and to this day the Franciscan Brothers are a global Order of monks and priests.

Teresa of Avila (Spain) lived in the 1500s. Her book “The Interior Castle” (see Recommended Resources) is still described today as a masterpiece of theology. God gave her a vision of a crystal castle saying it was the heart of people. He then showed her there were different mansions in the castle and that people walk through them to get to the 7th mansion where Jesus sits at the innermost heart of His own. The book describes the stages of spiritual growth and how many never get past the 3rd mansion. Essentially this book is about discipleship as opposed to mere conversion (mansion 1) or ministry (mansion 3). She described the poisonous creatures in the 1st mansion that are still part of the world outside God – they are demons sent to distract people from finding Him. She shows how those in the 2nd mansion begin to struggle with themselves and often think they’re moving backwards but in fact are moving forwards because they can now see the poisonous creatures and their own sin natures for what they are. In the 3rd mansion people often find their niche in God (ministry, service, or they settle into a Christian family environment). In this place they think they’ve “arrived” and often stay there forever. Some will seek God further and some who God has chosen to walk the mystical path will have all comfort shaken out from under them in God’s fiery trials and so will be forced out of the 3rd mansion into deeper realms.

R Thomas Ashbrook, a contemporary Evangelical pastor, found himself in burnout and fed up with church programmes. He said that discovering the writings of Teresa through a Franciscan Monk restored his faith and refreshed his spirit. In his commentary on Teresa’s work called Mansions of the Heart, he says on p 104 “One of the things we might admire about our 3rd mansion season is our relatively ordered life. But Teresa said that this, in fact, can be a real danger; the order may be evidence of an attempt to use reason to control one’s environment rather than trusting oneself to God.” Shane Claiborne puts it this way – he says that many Christians testify of being saved from the gutter, but most need to be saved from the cul-de-sac, which is a much more dangerous place as they sink into apathy in God. Ashbrook continues “The tragedy is that most church leaders would be delighted to have their church filled with 3rd mansion Christians. Traditional discipleship models, in most of our churches, give little encouragement to know God more deeply and experience His love more freely, in a manner beyond the 3rd mansion. Leadership’s exhortations often have more to do with sharpening one’s skills and gifts for ministry than with growing intimacy with the Trinity.”

Teresa shows that on arriving at the 4th mansion we begin to fall deeply in love with God and are at the point of being transformed into His Bride. Mansions 4-7 are about this journey into the depths of Jesus. Only He can make this transformation and I lament those who stay in mansion 3. This is the current “churchianity” environment which is all about the social club, so-called Christian fellowship that has little to do with God, and the professional ministries that are often more like businesses than the House of God. All these things happen in the 3rd mansion. It’s not ‘wicked’ (though churches that run like businesses are already being disciplined by God – see The Changing Church and Other End Times Prophecies). But the 3rd mansion is shallow and is not the place of the deep love or mysteries of God. Mystics live predominantly between mansions 6 and 7 – and so should all God’s people. The only way we can bring heaven to earth (as we pray for in the Lord’s Prayer) is if we exude the very depths and essence of God.

This book spoke deeply to me because it recorded my own story. All that were in its pages I had experienced. What I described in Personal Worship, above, as merging or mingling with Him, Teresa described as ‘absorption’ into Him. It’s as good a word as any for how He makes us aware that we’re mingling into Him at a cellular level. At one point I asked God why He was lavishing such love on me (1 Jn. 3:1) and why He was showing me such marvelous secrets and confirming them – including, later, via Teresa’s book. My question was because I felt unworthy and wondered why others weren’t in this place or whether He was calling others the same way. He replied that this level of love is available for all – but not many choose it.

Teresa points out that this is not a linear journey but people move through the mansions and occasionally go back to a previous one – or live in two at once until they are ready to move fully into the deeper one. She said these levels are not higher and lower than each other but like concentric circles they move towards the centre where God is. She also said she was not saying there are only 7 mansions but that these 7 were what God showed her and that He’d shown her that in each mansion were around a million rooms. Each person needs to explore and experience the spiritual places on their journey towards the depths of God. Mansion 7 is where we are truly united in a love and passion without bounds. We experience Him at all times, including the little miracle-gifts He gives almost daily to those close to Him. This is why the prophecies we received in 1984 describe how miracles that fall like petals around His own will be almost unnoticed compared to the intensity and beauty of His presence. That series of 10 prophecies called The Scrolls that were given during a 3-year season of spending hours in daily prayer, mirror Teresa’s 7 mansions because they describe how to journey from a place of impurity into the deepest heart of God. Teresa shows that once in that place we flow easily with His ebb and flow and come to understand the ebb rather than lament it. Our ‘self’ has died along the way because we’ve realized it comes between us and our Lord. At this point we are his Bride – and we know it. We have all His tenderness and intimacy (deeper than the deepest human love imaginable), the knowledge of His indescribable desire for us, His guidance, and the fullness of His personality, including His ferocious fire. We know both His goodness and severity – His sovereignty and love, His extreme and fearsome majesty, and His unspeakably melting embrace as He whispers to us words of love no mortal could utter because they enter into our very bones. Does that sound far-fetched? It’s the experience of the Bride - written into the Song of Songs, appearing in modern worship lyrics, and issued directly from the lips of the God of Love to the ears of His own. Amidst all of that, His sharp sword and sovereignty can still snap through suddenly and remind us we’re in the embrace of the Judge, the Lion, the Consuming Fire.

Teresa was an Abbess and was also the spiritual director for St John of the Cross who coined the phrase “dark night of the soul” and whose main revelation was the beauty of God. It’s funny how often God’s trials lead to a revelation of His deep and incredible beauty. That’s often what it takes to move from mansion 3 to 4.

St Julian of Norwich lived in the 1300s and was an “anchoress” - a service to God no longer in the vocabulary of most churches. These are people who so long for God and nothing else that they live in seclusion. She had servants to get her food, and a garden, and could give spiritual guidance to people who sought her out, through a street level window. But a rite of passage into this life included the “last rites” from a priest to show that she was “dying to the world” and being reborn into heaven even while here on earth. The enclosure was to be her living tomb – she would never leave it again. It’s like being in a cloister of one. Julian experienced a near-death trance – which she’d actually prayed for as a child saying, like Paul, that she wanted to know His sufferings. During the trance she received 16 revelations which are recorded in the famous book Revelations of Divine Love (see Recommended Resources.) Jesus showed her that He holds all things created in the palm of His hand – the size of a hazelnut. He showed her why Adam fell and how it is the great joy of God to restore the sinner to an even greater glory. She saw Jesus on the Cross turn black as sin took Him. I’ve seen the same vision and have read of it in other writings, both ancient and modern. She saw His wounds from the Crown of Thorns bleed – so did I to my surprise. It happened during one of His “kidnappings” and was initiated by an explosion of love from Him to me. When I saw it I went to tenderly wipe it from His brow – but He wouldn’t allow it. His blood is what has opened the door for His love affair with us. It’s precious to Him because of that. He showed Julian all His torture and the sin of mankind and the glory that will come from all of it because “God turns all things to good” so that she said – and her saying has echoed down the centuries in hymns and poems – “all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

In a focus that is typical of mystics Julian said that to know the goodness of God is the highest prayer of all. She said “Our lover desires indeed that our soul should cleave to Him with all its might, and ever hold onto His goodness. Beyond our power to imagine does this most please God, and speed the soul on its course. …By His grace and help therefore let us in spirit stand and gaze, eternally marvelling at the supreme, surpassing, singleminded, incalculable love that God, who is goodness, has for us. Then we can ask reverently of our lover whatever we will. For by nature our will wants God, and the good will of God wants us. … So I saw Him and sought Him, I had Him and wanted Him.” This is the experience of the first commandment. I’ve also experienced that strange yearning of having Him yet wanting Him, and wanting Him yet having Him. And I’m not the only one. At a 2008 conference in my city, revivalist Michael Livengood spoke on the closeness we can have with God. I told him of my experience and he quoted a saying from his father about how God “satisfies with an unsatisfiable satisfaction”. That’s what happens when His presence makes us crave His presence like living water. Julian and I had used the exact same words nearly 700 years apart. “I had Him but I wanted Him”. Michael, caught up in God’s love, then went to preach in a town called Levin for 3 days, but stayed for 4 months because revival broke out. People came off the street seeking God – the church had services through days and nights, healings and miracles happened. Where God is so are His attributes, and the more deeply the love flows between us, the more His Spirit manifests around us.

Madame Jeanne Guyon is another famous mystic who lived in 17th Century France. She was jailed in the Bastille for 8 years and then exiled for teaching a personal relationship with Jesus. Her teaching undermined the priesthood who claimed to be mediators between man and God and Jeanne’s writing removed their authority in that regard. Guyon also spoke of deep prayer and her desperate need to be close to Jesus even if it meant the Bastille. (Those who say that if we’re close to God we’ll be spared such horrors have forgotten the Cross. As the saying goes “the Church is built on the blood of the martyrs”.) She said God relentlessly pursues the self-life to its death in order to unite us to Himself and that as we leave the start of our journey further behind and reach our destination in His time “it is then that He gives us such pledges and assurances of our divine marriage that we can no longer doubt the reality of the union. For this direct union is so spiritual, so refined, so divine, so intimate, that it is equally impossible for the soul to imagine it as it is to doubt it.” This is Phil. 3:10 in which Paul prayed to intimately know the sufferings of Christ so He could enter His resurrection.

Catherine of Siena lived in the 1300s. When she was asked to describe God she whispered “He is drunk with love – crazed with love.” We know this is true because “God is love” and “God is a consuming fire” and He was tortured and died for love. But to describe Him as crazed with love, because that’s what you’ve experienced, is truly a deep personal knowledge of the King of Love.

When God teaches us directly: The common ground between all these mystics and their revelations is that they’ve all entered into the deepest love imaginable with God. Though they often lived centuries apart, and writings were not in print or easily distributed, they gave the same message. All refer to Him as Bridegroom. All say we must be still and cease our internal activities so God can take the reins and build us into union with Himself. Modern churches focus on creating internal activity which hinders God’s voice in us and morphs into works of the flesh. Jeanne Guyon said “the righteous, supported by the great number of works of righteousness he presumes to have done, seems to hold his salvation in his own hands, and regards heaven as the recompense due to his merits.… His Saviour is, for him, almost useless” and “Martha did what was right but because she did it in her own spirit Jesus rebuked her. ... Mary had chosen rest, tranquility, and peace." She spoke of our need to be totally abandoned to God, saying it’s the key to the inner court. We must cast off all selfish care and be completely at His disposal – so that whether He wants to bless us or send us to a Cross – it is His will alone that we desire. When we abandon ourselves, God, who does not allow a void in nature, instantly fills us with Himself. It’s been said that as living sacrifices we keep crawling off the altar. We need to stop doing this. Paul said he knew how to be abased and how to have abundance – and had learned to be content with all things.

Another common thread taught by mystics is that the purpose of prayer is closeness with God (while our modern churches focus on prayer as a way to get our needs met). All have learned the “prayer of quiet” – the sort of silent prayer I was called into by Him night after night (see Personal Worship). All were taught a different way of praying – just as I was – which was more about BE-ing with Him rather than making petitions. And like me, they all said petitions came to feel like prayers of the flesh – somewhat annoying and disruptive – compared to the deep communion with Him in the “prayer of quiet” where we float in His endless peace and receive His perfect food. Francis said we must “guard the times of private prayer with relentless watchfulness” and “remember that communal worship is not a substitute for the quiet communion of the individual soul with God” – or a genuine conversation with Him while leaning against His chest in His embrace like John did. Yes – it is tangible.

All have experienced His honey-rich love that pours like oil over us. All have seen His face and describe His eyes as tender when they view His loved ones but ferocious when they view wickedness. I’ve seen the same. All call His people His Lovers because God reveals that that’s exactly how He sees His people and how He treats them. If only the Church knew how much He cherishes His own! All say that the “dark night of the soul” leads to full union with God and all have had the Marriage Supper of the Lamb revealed to them. They also describe it in similar terms, sometimes using the same words. I also, used those words when Jesus showed me something of the Marriage Supper. Much later I found the descriptions in these books. What God reveals, God confirms. I believe the Marriage Supper will be either the most ecstatic experience in all of eternity – or one of most ecstatic. And it will be for the glory of Jesus – His reward. It will indeed be one of heaven’s main events – and possibly the most divine bliss. I’ve written openly in this section, of some of my own experiences to whet people’s appetites and encourage God’s own to seek Him more deeply – to move from mansion 3 to mansion 4 and beyond – and to know that there are levels of love and intimate closeness with Him not usually even hinted at in most churches today. The thing is, we can’t do it ourselves – we only get in the way – our efforts are works of the flesh. But we can beg God to do it for us, and to us. As it’s His deepest will – He will answer. But be prepared for Him to “shake until only the unshakable remains” (Heb. 12:26,27). It’s how we get to the place where He is our only desire.

Mystics have experienced Him so deeply that they prefer His company to any other and happily live secluded lives. They walk through life like Enoch – pleased to deal with humanity for the sole purpose of glorifying God further. I call these people prophets of His love. They are prophets because God reveals His secrets to them – but the secrets and mysteries He reveals are about Himself. What Glory!! Paul was taken by the “mysteries and glory and riches of Christ” – he was besotted. Sadly the current church’s main focus is on external service, knowledge, and administration. Too many are far far away from the experience of the mystics – an experience God yearns for with all His chosen ones. But as He told me – not many will choose it. They are taken up with the world and daily life. Mystics are taken up with God and eternal life – and all the deep glory that goes with that.

The main thing the mystics have in common is a revelation of the love of their Spouse that’s so deep it overturns all else in their lives. God reveals what Teresa calls “His sacred humanity”- it is the place of marriage. She says this experience happens in the 7th mansion. In this place we commonly experience His yearning for us. Mystics have said it’s as if He begs for us to come closer – and He does. If you’ve experienced it you’ll know that His humanity is a most tender revelation of Himself. When He first revealed it to me it was hard to cope with – the depth of intimacy and beauty of His presence and what He was showing me were strange and unfamiliar. But He showed me that if I wanted all of Him I had to take Him the way He wanted to be taken. If not – I could have some of Him but would never enter His fullness. Then began the nightly ‘kidnappings’ mentioned above in Personal Worship (described by Teresa as “absorption”) and an embrace from Him I didn’t know was possible – along with daily miracles because He wanted to shower me with His love. All that He did, said, and showed me I’ve read about in the writings of the mystics. But common to them, and to me, is something that in a strange way enhances our response to His tender yearning for us. It’s the intense awareness He also gives of His ability to be ferocious – “the goodness and severity of God” (Rom. 11:22). The full picture of Himself. The mixture of Lion and Lamb is a heady combination which, as Mark Galli says in his book Jesus Mean & Wild “is immensely attractive.” Then we fall and say “Our God is stunning and beyond imagining. There’s none like Him.”

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Jesus said in Jn. 15:15 “I no longer call you servants but friends.” Shane Claiborne, speaking of relationships with the marginalized, said "Servanthood is a fine place to start but gradually we move towards love" ie, service that doesn’t end in friendship is mere works. When I heard that, Jesus instantly showed me the Shulamite in the Song of Songs. Jesus “learned obedience through the things He suffered” and so did the Shulamite. How horrifying to find you’ve missed your true love by a mere moment – and now He’s gone. The book shows her search for The Beloved and how the brethren around her don’t understand and beat and accuse her. (I call it the meat tenderizer – we all go through it IF we’re blessed enough to be called to deep harmony with Him as He cuts our flesh away and circumcises our hearts.) The end result for the Shulamite and for us (and for all godly relationships) is harmony, union, oneness. Obedience is about being a servant – it’s just the beginning. Claiborne says it’s a fine place to start but we move towards love – Jesus moves from calling us servants to friends, where we have learned to walk in harmony with Him, being of one mind and one heart – a brother, sister, daughter, son. Any discord with His Way will create an internal barbed-wire friction which will be instantly shunned due to a need to be close – so close – to our Beloved. When we learn to walk in harmony with Him, obedience is no longer an issue. For example, if we truly love our spouse, we don’t need to tick off the checklist to remind ourselves daily “thou shalt not commit adultery” because the very thought is abhorrent to us. In the same way, following God in intimacy and harmony with Him is as high above pursuing obedience to rules, as the heavens are above the earth.

I know much of the Church is currently shouting loudly about the checklist, but it’s because they focus on rules of piety rather than the natural affections God created in us – in His own image! Wellington pastor Ross Smith writes in his book ‘Naked Illusion’ (p 102) that it’s “an illusion that we must be broken by the hammer of God’s Word. Let’s look at the Word, hold to the Word, and proclaim the Word of love. Love is the way of ‘obedience’. We are expected to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and being (the greatest command), so let’s be clear about that (Deut. 6:5)”. (Emphasis in original.) Jesus is our Bridegroom and the question is – do you do good for your spouse because you know them well and love them, or because there’s a list of rules and duties on the marriage license? Each person gives and receives love differently so the checklist will morph for each unique union with God, and He made us unique so He can take pleasure in the greatest variety of love from us. Obedience implies we have to follow the rules because we don't know how to follow Him without them – like teaching a child. An obedience checklist may get us out of Egypt but it won’t get us into the Promised Land – only harmony with Jesus can do that. (See also Repentance vs Restoration.) Paul said in Gal. 3:24,25 that the Law is a schoolmaster to bring us to Christ but with faith we no longer need the tutor. The result of obedience is to walk in harmony with God as Enoch did. Obedience is vital – but if it doesn’t lead us into harmony of heart and mind with Him (as much as is possible with our current dim sight – 1 Jn. 3:2) then it’s nothing but legalism. Harmony of hearts and merging our life with His is the requirement of our eternity in Him (Gal. 2:20). We choose to walk heart to heart with the one we love – chasing our Shepherd rather than being tugged along by Him. It’s the first commandment! Jesus came to restore us to glory so we can love Him inwardly and reflect Him outwardly. He wants our lives not our bible colleges – He’s the Head and He’s looking for a Body. As men and women “become one flesh” in earthly marriage, so the Bride will become one with her heavenly Bridegroom – merged in worship, lost in love, joined and knitted together to the Head.

Fit for the Harvest: The first commandment is being restored to the Church today to make us effective for the Latter Rain harvest. God will not send His angels to bring in the harvest until His people are ready to receive them with love. While we argue over words and doctrines, which scripture forbids (2 Tim. 2:14), the fishing net of love which would capture the harvest still lies in tatters, torn with wounds from the lukewarm. He needs us to build up our faith in love (Jude 20,21). It’s why He’s revealing Himself as Bridegroom and causing people to fall madly in love with Him. He is creating new wineskins for the coming new wine! It brings us into step with Him and when the Church is in harmony with Him, only then will she be a safe place for the harvest to flood into (and as a new wineskin she will be also safe from being torn apart by the harvest)! True harmony can only be learned through the spirit of worship, and praise is the key to having His fire of love in our bellies. By God’s design, without His love the fire turns to legalism and dies.

Some have gone so far down the rabbit warren of quarreling over the texts and meanings in seeking ‘facts’ from the Book of the Lord, that they have lost their connection to the Lord of the Book! They’ve forgotten mercy and grace and think ‘correct interpretations’ is the ticket to heaven – and so they argue and stab with the Sword of the Spirit – and they call it righteous! I call it “the fruit of the flesh” – soulish ego. Instead of being Children of Light with the same Father Who teaches them love, they are Children of a Belief System who learn about a formula. I once had a wonderful preacher/prophet in his 70s come up to me at a service and take my shoulders and tell me I was “a David who loves the Lord and loves His Word.” It’s true on all counts. But I can’t have a love relationship with words on a page. However, I’m commanded to have a love relationship with the Lover of my soul, the Living Word. As there is harmony in the Trinity, so I desire harmony with Jesus. It’s His Jn. 17 prayer – but I don’t desire it because I’m meant to and it’s the obedient thing to want, I desire it because I desire Him, His closeness, our union, our oneness, merged in love, bathed in light. Where is the ‘obedience’ in that? It has been trumped by desire for harmony – we are no longer servants but friends (Jn. 15:15) – “You have ravished My heart” (Songs 4:9).

Following: To become the Bride of Christ we need to learn to walk so closely with Him, as true disciples, that we can turn on a dime whenever He moves this way or that. It seems God’s talking to many people about being ultra-responsive to Him and it’s not coming from the pulpits, but individual Christians are having it revealed to them and He reserves the right to have a vice-like grip on all who open their hearts to follow Him closely. In 2009 I had a vision: I had wooden hand-grips tied with ropes to my arms and Jesus could use them to move me as He wanted. The ropes could be tightened or loosened by Him. The next day I watched the DVD documentary ‘Into Great Silence’ on the Chartreuse Monks in which the very same wooden grips and ropes were used to tie down and secure bundles of goods. The Chartreuse Monastery has been going for over 1000 years in silent prayer and Kiwi prophet Peter Robertson has said the documentary is God’s timing to show the modern Church what real prayer and commitment look like. When the film-maker first approached the Monks he was told that God’s timing wasn’t right and that they’d be in touch in about 10 years. Thirteen years later they contacted him and gave approval for the documentary to go ahead. Those people know about God’s timing and waiting on Him!

Scripture says the people of God are like the wind – no-one knows where they come from or go to (Jn. 3:8). They are unpredictable because they move under His anointing and change direction like the wind and on a dime, as HE sees fit. We may cloister ourselves for 1000+ years of silent prayer to learn the patience and wisdom of God’s life-seasons like the Monks, or we may overturn governments and be jailed, whipped, and killed like the apostles, but we must allow the hand-grip on us to be His alone. The Monks were very aware of God’s timing and Peter Robertson was right – after 1000 years of the Monks being invisible to the world it is God’s timing to reveal them and let their ways teach the modern churches, fixated on programmes and hype, what it looks like to live fixated on God alone – how to pray, and wait, and surrender! He’s building this into us for the imminent future.

His Wisdom: One thing God told me about following my Shepherd is that if I know His timing for an event I won’t focus on the journey to get there, and it’s in the journey that I learn how to deal with the event! It’s about learning from Him at every step and every turn. The ancient Celtic missionaries said “I won’t find Christ at the end of my journey unless He comes with me on the way.”

Personal Example of Harmony: An example of obedience vs harmony is building this website. God did not tell me “Go build a website” and I did not say “I will obey my God and King.” It happened because I follow Him closely enough to be turned on a dime and He can easily lead me – it happened before I knew I had even decided to do it and I have no idea at what moment it began. It was all God’s doing and my only conscious awareness of the idea was to dismiss it as being something I couldn’t do. It began at a prophetic conference in 2008 with the wonderful Jill Austin. A call was given for people in communications to use the media in whatever way God chose, if they were interested. I responded but knew it’d have to be via books not digital media as I knew nothing of building websites. I had already created evangelism testimonial newsletters but nothing more. (See Miracles & Testimonies.) However, some time ago I had to do a website mock-up (in Word) for a work project and for some reason decided to tweak it with pictures of lions (Jesus had revealed His lion side to me). ROAR! God also led me on a fast journey through the sort of books I never pursued but they confirmed everything He’d been telling me for 3 years. They were about the radical changes He is currently doing in His Church – so ROAR came to mean Road of a Radical. I’d kept the things He’d told me that pertained to doctrines in a certain file and as I played with the lions and design a friend said she’d build me the site which prompted me to compile the doctrines He’d shown me and confirmed. And so the site was born, by a bunch of consecutive events and with no decision on my part at all. When it was finished I found a word God had given me that I’d noted down saying that I was doing His will by writing it. This is harmony! I never anxiously sought His will over what I could do for Him – but my deep desire and love for Him means I was already in His will and walking closely enough to easily be turned this way and that by the wind of His Spirit (Jn. 3:8). He once told me I followed Him like water. It was a strange saying but I knew what He meant – that I flow easily with Him. Three years later I found that very thing in Pr. 21:1 “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord – He turns it wherever He wishes.” And so obedience of the intellect is trumped by harmony of the heart where we outwork His will and His plan whether we know it or not because in our desire to be glued to Him and walk with one heartbeat, He has us where He wants us. Like David, when we pant for Him we’ll also delight in His laws – His ways – but without the panting and heart-to-heart harmony obedience can become legalism. Sometimes during trials and tests obedience is all we have, but like the Shulamite we come through to deeper intimacy and harmony. The goal is not merely being obedient to His commands whether we want to or not – the goal is harmony of hearts in a deep desire to please Him. (See End Times Prophecies – Scroll 4, Love.) I have daily examples of our harmony, the ‘Godincidences’ that bring the little, or big, miracles when we walk closely with Him – the love gifts I find on my path, because it’s His path and where He is, so are His miracles, and so is His sweetness and His training. It’s simply a matter of walking shoulder to shoulder with Him, entwining spirit with Spirit.

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Walking with God comes from who we are. 2 Cor. 3:3 says we’re His living epistles and Eph. 2:10 calls us His “workmanship” created for good works which He made for us. The Greek word for workmanship is poiema from which we get “poem”. We’re His poems! He’s written each of us as a living epistle – a beautiful poem – and He wants us to BE what we’re made to be. Each poem is unique. Scripture says “the sower went out to sow”. We do what comes naturally – it’s part of us because God built it into us from before the foundation of the earth. It’s the good works He made for us to do and we do it for God and with God. He brings out our truest nature – if we sow it’s because we’re sowers. It’s about ‘being’ not ‘doing’. Our paths and service will spring only from our love with Him and then be outworked through the gifts and attributes He made us with, under His direction and as He refines them and brings them out. This satisfies us more than anything else, because He brings out in us what He first put into us. We BE with Him, and with that BE-ing comes the beauty of being transformed into His living poem.

God began talking to me about BE-ing with Him in May 2008 and explained that He wants me (and all His people) to ‘abide permanently’ to "let my mind be stayed on thee” (Is. 26:3). Abiding with Him with every breath will bring us into the walk of Jesus and the apostles, Enoch and Moses. It’s then that we become an oracle for God (1 Pt. 4:11) – a maturing disciple – and enter the Royal Priesthood of Melchizedek, a Priesthood that God is restoring today. This is what the Chartreuse Monks have done for a millennium, and we can learn from it.

God told Moses to come and meet Him on the mountain, and that when he got there, to be there (Ex. 24:12). Well, where else could he be? In the Hebrew God was actually saying to “exist, happen, and become” with Him. It’s about living in the moment with Him – not praying or worshipping while planning the rest of our day! Moses was to be fully focused to enter His eternal presence and leave the rest of life behind. This was a conversation I often had with God until I understood. Lost in prayer or worship I’d hear His beautiful velvet voice “Be with Me.” “But I am with You.” “Be with Me.” “But I am with You.” And so the conversation went until I learned about abiding in Him fully.

BE-ing is about resting in Him at all times. Whether we’re climbing to a mountaintop or resting in a valley, being arrested by Him, or at times wrestling with Him, our eyes need to be on Him alone. He is the sole focus. It’s how He teaches us – but we have to give Him our attention. He deserves it. When we BE with Him the rest of life’s so-called priorities slip into a far distant second place and we open ourselves to being infused by Him – walking with Jesus as He walked with His Father. When we’re still enough, when we reject a life of one hectic schedule after the other, He can infuse us more deeply. In the words of the 60s song, we can see Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, follow Him more nearly, day by day. “Be still – cease striving – and know that I Am God.” I put that verse on the home page of this site because BE-ing is the sole basis of our walk with God as He builds us into Children of Light and doorways to the Kingdom. Our pastors can’t make this transformation in our souls (our beings) nor can church programmes – but God intends to! IF we’re still enough to BE with Him.

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The First Commandment: Kirk Bennett, prophetic teacher from the Kansas International House of Prayer (IHOP) has said that worship is the line in the sand in the cosmos right now. The battle has always been over worship – that’s why it’s the first commandment – it’s worship that satan covets and currently the line is being drawn. Kirk says bondage only breaks when people are worshipping – the end of captivity is not a list of rules (more captivity) it is worship and it frees the heart so love can fill it. Jesus’ love is intense and freeing all at once and Kirk points out that it’s impossible to meet and behold Jesus without adoring Him. Prophecy and all gifts, fruits, revelations, love – even holy trials – come from worship because where God is, there also are all His attributes. Worship is the issue in the earth right now – hence the celebrity culture. The central political controversy in the world is also over worship – everyone wants a slice of Jerusalem. Blood is split over an area with no natural resources or wealth, no oil, no ore, not even water. Go figure. Behold – the spiritual battle.

Daniel 3 shows us that where there’s false worship there’ll always be those who refuse to bow their hearts. These are the prophets who see beyond the will of man and follow only the will of God. They’ll be persecuted by the legalists.

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Worship’ has become more jargon than practice – it’s a word used mainly to acknowledge God’s status. Sadly the groaning, ecstasy, and glory immersions in the New Testament (and in the song lyrics of the last few years) are not most Christians’ experience. They should be. They must become our breath. Scripture says in Ps. 16:11, “In Your presence is the fullness of joy.” When I worship, I love – and I feel His intense love. He desires so strongly to fill us with His love to restore us to relationship with Himself and each other that He even gave His own Son to die for the purpose. To not wallow in His love defeats this purpose and undermines His torture and death. To me, worship is an unbelievable LOVE-FEAST (Jude 12). Wonder and joy are my food and He died to give it to us all.

Love Poured Out: When we speak to Him His heart is moved with love and desire. Jesus said that the story of the woman anointing Him with expensive oil and washing His feet with her tears and drying them with her hair, would be told whenever the gospel is told. Judas and others didn’t approve of her actions (they played the blame game) but Jesus upheld her and said her story would be told forever (Mk. 14:3-9). So why does the modern gospel never mention her – does our gospel have a different spin? Do we, like Judas and the Pharisees, focus on formalities rather than a burning desire for God? Jesus preferred the heart of the woman, probably a prostitute. Nothing was going to stop her from pouring her love, devotion, and gratitude all over Him, but it’s hard to understand for those who have an intellectualized faith and prefer the Tree of Knowledge. This woman did many things wrong. She let her hair down in public which was a scandal under the Rabbinic law and could result in divorce, she was of “ill repute” and forced her way into a Pharisee’s home, she dealt directly with a prophet (with God Himself – and He approved). She gave Jesus all the common greetings – foot bath, kisses, and anointing – that His hosts had not given, as He pointed out to them when they complained of her behaviour and He supported her. So why don’t we preach her? Jesus loved her heart of love, but Judas and the Pharisees hated her harlotry and her law-breaking (and Judas wanted to sell the oil for money). The Church too often sees through the eyes of Judas and the Pharisees, looking at the outer man not at the heart. That’s why this woman is never preached despite Jesus saying she would forever be linked to the true gospel.

Waves of Glory: A teacher from the Kansas International House of Prayer (IHOP) paraphrased the song of the Seraphim “Holy Holy Holy” (Is. 6:3, Rev. 4:5-11) as “Infinitely Superior, Transcendent Beauty, Eternal Wonder” and pointed out that the song is the first commandment! It is pouring worship on the head of God, as the woman poured oil on Jesus. IHOP teachers have seen that waves of glory will soon hit the Church with such intensity that we’ll have to shield our eyes as if to look away but then instantly look back through desire for Him. As God would have it, I had that very experience while I gazed at a picture of Him and was transported into glory. My eyes involuntarily closed as I was overcome with His presence, but reopened in deep desire as I had to see His face. The slow impulsive blink continued for some time, and later when I heard the message from IHOP I knew that this is one of the things Jesus will build into His Church – the song of the Seraphim. I know it’s more than words in scripture, or words from a teacher, because I experienced the glory of being overwhelmed by Him, looking away flooded by Him (Songs 6:5) then instantly looking back in desire for Him – repeatedly. And that over a mere picture! What will it be like when we see His face? In the words of worship band ‘MercyMe’ “Will I dance for you Jesus or to my knees will I fall, will I sing ‘hallelujah’, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine.”

This is a facet that belongs to His Bride and He will ensure it happens as He brings us to the place where we can shine like we ought, love like we ought, and the world can see Him as He is, through His shining, loving Church. Only He can do that. Miracles and the power of the Holy Spirit that fell within the original Church in the Book of Acts, only happen when we are close to Him. There’s no ‘technique’ for twisting His arm or standing on scriptures to force Him to act – but I’ve learned as I’ve become close to Him that where He is, so are His miracles. In Ps. 63:2 David said that he met God’s power and glory in His sanctuary – the place of worship – the Holy of Holies. The place of worship is where we are overcome by God’s glory, power, kindness, teaching, extreme love – all that He is. The only way to walk in the life-power of the Holy Spirit is to become deeply entwined with our God. God and His attributes go hand-in-hand. It’s so obvious but we miss it through our gospel-of-the-head and our (occultic) search for ‘spiritual techniques’. There are endless teachings on, eg ‘5 Steps to Answered Prayer, or ‘10 Steps to Walking in Power’ – but I’ve yet to find an emphasis on ‘5 Steps To Your Crucifixion’, or ‘10 Steps to Finding God’s Fiery Trials’ (outside of scripture that is!) Yet it’s our Gal. 2:20 deaths that refine us and bring God’s presence and His attributes. That’s why in Phil. 3:10 Paul desired His sufferings to gain His resurrection life (see also Knowing Him). Pastor Chris Hill from Potters House, Dallas, says the Church has been weakened by a message of gaining the promotion without the pain (see Gaining Mantles). Death comes before resurrection but modern churches have forgotten that message, and death to self and love for others have been lost or minimized while God’s people focus on seeking His power in their own strength. Why would He give His power to the unbroken? How much damage would that cause? The early Church fathers wrote that those who hadn’t been fully broken by God’s trials were not trusted as elders. When Paul’s apostleship was questioned he didn’t cite the number of churches he’d founded (unlike modern ‘apostles’), he cited the trials he’d been put through (2 Cor. 11:23-29). Jesus is the vine, if we want to bear fruit 100-fold we must abide in Him 100-fold, every moment, like the vine branches (Jn. 15:5). And when we do, He’ll prune us – but it’ll bring more glory, more love, more closeness to our Beloved.

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Worship is a heavenly kiss – a love-feast – as we come close to the author of Love.

To worship Him is to become so intoxicated by and entwined with Him that we can’t help but live as a true disciple, to be caught up into the embrace of the 3rd heaven as Paul was, to give up an earthly focus in order to extend His boundaries, and to drench Him in the oil of our worship and love like the prostitute did – she’d been forgiven much so she loved much. I often say to Him “a millimetre apart is a galaxy too far” because I want to be so close to Him. Would that I could walk with Him like Enoch did. His desire for us, and David’s, Paul’s, and my desire (and yours?) for Him is what the Cross and paradise is about. Worshippers bring the presence of God which confuses the enemy. We also live in His joy, beauty, and wonder. As it pours from God through His worshippers into His world, it helps heal those around, and enlivens the Church. It’s not about singing worship songs – it’s about panting for Him like David did, living as a Royal Priest, and being merged with the Spirit of The Beloved in Jn. 17 union.

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